As twinkling lights adorn our streets and the scent of pine fills our homes, the festive season invites us to slow down and connect with the people who matter most. Christmas is a time when relationships feel central—family, friends, and loved ones gather, often overcoming distances and differences, to celebrate togetherness. In many ways, the heartwarming essence of Christmas aligns beautifully with the principles of EFT.
EFT is rooted in the understanding that human beings thrive on secure, loving attachments. EFT teaches us that the need to feel emotionally connected and valued by our loved ones is fundamental, just as a child feels safe when nestled in a parent’s embrace or a couple thrives in a bond built on trust and care. Christmas, too, draws on these attachment significance: it’s not the gifts or the glitter that define the season, but the shared experiences and emotional presence that foster a sense of belonging.
Attachment and the Spirit of Christmas
At its core, EFT sees relationships as emotional homes. When we feel securely attached, we experience comfort, resilience, and a sense of being wanted. Similarly, Christmas serves as an emotional anchor for many—a season that reminds us of the power of family, friends, rituals, shared meals, and traditions. Decorating the tree, singing carols, sharing cards, or simply sitting around the fire fosters moments of connection that mirror the “connecting spirit” of EFT.
Much like the repair and renewal that EFT encourages between partners,families and friends, Christmas offers an opportunity for mending strained relationships. The holiday’s emphasis on forgiveness and generosity and love can mirror the process EFT describes as turning away from blame and toward understanding. As we exchange heartfelt gifts or offer apologies over a cup of tea or mulled wine, we tap into the same vulnerability that EFT recognises as the key to healing and strengthening relational bonds.
Festive Rituals as Attachment
As we reflect on the promise and rituals of Christmas, let us consider this:
Decorating Together: The act of adorning a tree is not just about aesthetics; it’s a shared experience, often filled with laughter and memories. This reflects EFT’s principle that collaborative emotional experiencing helps to build stronger bonds. These moments also embody the EFT acronym ARE: are we Accessible, Responsive and Engaged in the experience together? When we are, connection grows stronger.
Exchanging Gifts: At its best, gift-sharing is about expressing love and care, a tangible reminder that “I see you, and you matter to me.” This act also encourages attunement, where we notice and respond to the emotional significance of the gesture—another emphasis of how the spirit of Christmas attunes to the spirit EFT.
Sharing Meals: The festive dinner table becomes the nurturing space of connection, where family members come together to nourish not just their bodies but their relationships. By being present, tuning into each other’s stories, and fostering warmth, EFT teaches when we engage in the same emotional responsiveness we make attachment bonds thrive.
An Invitation Toward Connection
EFT teaches us that disconnection is at the root of most relational pain, but it also offers hope: we can rebuild connection through openness, vulnerability, and emotional responsiveness. Christmas, too, is a season that invites us to turn toward each other. It asks us to pause, to truly see and hear the people we love, and to express gratitude and affection with the spirit that is EFT.
As we move towards this holiday season, let’s embrace the lessons of EFT. Whether it’s a quiet moment under the mistletoe, a heartfelt conversation over mince pie, or simply holding space for a loved one, these small acts of connection remind us of what Christmas is truly about: love, belonging, and the spirit of being together.
Gratitude to Dearest Dr Sue Johnson
As I reflect on the life and legacy of Dr Sue Johnson, the legendary champion of human bonding experience and as I light my candle in her memory and in honour of her extraordinary contribution to understanding human relationship- I thought about what might wish for us be this Christmas. I believe Dr Sue would want us to remember that love is always a choice—a choice to be present, to be kind, and to prioritise our relationships above all else. Let Dr Sue’s wish for human connection guide us this Christmas: to reach out, to heal, and to hold each other close, knowing that love is the greatest gift we can give
Many thanks
Keith Solomon
