'Stepping In, Stepping Up - Boldness and Engagement in EFT'
10.00 - 10.15 Welcome
10.15 – 11.00 Keynote – ‘Stepping Back, Stepping In, Stepping Up’ - Helene Igwebuike, Sandra Taylor &
Sarah McConnell, BEFT's Decision Making Team (DMT)
11.00 – 11.10 Brief break
11.10 – 12.45 Choice of sessions:
a) “Should I Stay - Should I Go…?” Working with Highly Ambivalent ‘Split Agenda’ Couples:
Discernment Counselling and EFT. – Gulya Diyarova
b) How to work with couples on differences in sexual desire within EFT – Laura Vowels
12.45 – 1.15 Developing the BEFT Centre & community - Janine Murray & Joy Wanless
1.15 – 1.45 Lunch break
1.45 – 3.15 Choice of sessions:
c) The blame game - Stepping in when our clients' cycle focuses on 'blame' or 'fix'.
– Sarah McConnell & Isabel Bristowe
d) ‘I do all the emotions in this relationship’: Boldness and engagement with withdrawers when
the pursuer is apparently occupying the emotional high ground.
– Jenny Hughes and Janine Murray
3.15 – 3.30 break
3.30 – 4.15 ‘Got it!’ – short presentations & discussion.
Presenters: Joy Wanless, Rosalind Peckham, Alison Bickers & Thelma Ellison
4.15 – 4.30 Closing the conference
10.15 – 11.00 Keynote – ‘Stepping Back, Stepping In, Stepping Up’ - Helene Igwebuike, Sandra Taylor &
Sarah McConnell, BEFT's Decision Making Team (DMT)
11.00 – 11.10 Brief break
11.10 – 12.45 Choice of sessions:
a) “Should I Stay - Should I Go…?” Working with Highly Ambivalent ‘Split Agenda’ Couples:
Discernment Counselling and EFT. – Gulya Diyarova
b) How to work with couples on differences in sexual desire within EFT – Laura Vowels
12.45 – 1.15 Developing the BEFT Centre & community - Janine Murray & Joy Wanless
1.15 – 1.45 Lunch break
1.45 – 3.15 Choice of sessions:
c) The blame game - Stepping in when our clients' cycle focuses on 'blame' or 'fix'.
– Sarah McConnell & Isabel Bristowe
d) ‘I do all the emotions in this relationship’: Boldness and engagement with withdrawers when
the pursuer is apparently occupying the emotional high ground.
– Jenny Hughes and Janine Murray
3.15 – 3.30 break
3.30 – 4.15 ‘Got it!’ – short presentations & discussion.
Presenters: Joy Wanless, Rosalind Peckham, Alison Bickers & Thelma Ellison
4.15 – 4.30 Closing the conference
Keynote: ‘Stepping Back, Stepping In, Stepping Up’ - Helene Igwebuike, Sandra Taylor & Sarah McConnell, BEFT's Decision Making Team (DMT)
We bring ourselves into our work as EFT therapists and so we cannot help bringing in the impact of powerful experiences in our lives. At times this feels like it takes us backwards, to being less of the therapist we aspire to be, until we are able to move forward again with greater richness, resilience and capability. In this keynote we share with you, through an EFT Tango, a little of us and our journeys and hope that it will inspire you in your journey.
We bring ourselves into our work as EFT therapists and so we cannot help bringing in the impact of powerful experiences in our lives. At times this feels like it takes us backwards, to being less of the therapist we aspire to be, until we are able to move forward again with greater richness, resilience and capability. In this keynote we share with you, through an EFT Tango, a little of us and our journeys and hope that it will inspire you in your journey.
“Should I Stay - Should I Go…?” Working with Highly Ambivalent ‘Split Agenda’ Couples: Discernment Counselling and EFT.
Gulya Diyarova, EFT Supervisor
This presentation will explore how Discernment Counselling protocol can be integrated into an EFT approach, where the two meet successfully to help couples, and a therapist, get out of this crucial dilemma, without ‘taking sides’ or feeling a failure, but learning something valuable about themselves, the relationship and then decide on the right direction for the couple.
‘The dirty little secret of couples therapy is we have great models and protocols that work for couples who want to actively work on their marriage.’ (Bill Docherty, founder of Discernment Counselling).
Gulya Diyarova, EFT Supervisor
This presentation will explore how Discernment Counselling protocol can be integrated into an EFT approach, where the two meet successfully to help couples, and a therapist, get out of this crucial dilemma, without ‘taking sides’ or feeling a failure, but learning something valuable about themselves, the relationship and then decide on the right direction for the couple.
‘The dirty little secret of couples therapy is we have great models and protocols that work for couples who want to actively work on their marriage.’ (Bill Docherty, founder of Discernment Counselling).
- What happens when one person is mostly out the door and the other is desperate to save the marriage?
- Whose agenda do you go with?
- ·Do you say you can’t help them until they decide what they both want?·
- Or do you just start couples therapy in the hope that the leaning-out spouse will come around?
How to work with couples on differences in sexual desire within EFT
Laura Vowels, EFT Therapist
"Do your couples bring up issues around sex and you’re not sure what to do? Is this content and should you just focus on the process or should you address the sexual concern head on? Sex is when we’re at our most vulnerable, trusting our partner to not hurt us in the moments when we’re open and literally in their hands. For some reason sex and couples therapy evolved separately despite the fact that, for the most part, sexual dysfunctions are only a problem when with a partner rather than when alone.
Sexual desire discrepancy specifically is an issue that affects most, if not all, couples at some point in their relationship but many therapists do not feel competent in addressing the issue. There is also a widely held, and often incorrect, belief that addressing the relationship issues will automatically fix the sexual problem.
This workshop will provide a brief introduction to understanding sexual desire and sexual desire discrepancy, discuss how to talk to couples about their sexual relationship, and how to introduce and use sensate focus with EFT. We will also do a couple of short exercises that can be used with couples in the sessions.
Laura Vowels is an ICEEFT certified emotionally-focused therapist in private practice specialising in couples struggling with sexual desire discrepancy and a PhD researcher at University of Southampton. She has published over ten scientific articles in leading international sex research journals on topics around sexuality and sexual desire in romantic relationships.
Laura Vowels, EFT Therapist
"Do your couples bring up issues around sex and you’re not sure what to do? Is this content and should you just focus on the process or should you address the sexual concern head on? Sex is when we’re at our most vulnerable, trusting our partner to not hurt us in the moments when we’re open and literally in their hands. For some reason sex and couples therapy evolved separately despite the fact that, for the most part, sexual dysfunctions are only a problem when with a partner rather than when alone.
Sexual desire discrepancy specifically is an issue that affects most, if not all, couples at some point in their relationship but many therapists do not feel competent in addressing the issue. There is also a widely held, and often incorrect, belief that addressing the relationship issues will automatically fix the sexual problem.
This workshop will provide a brief introduction to understanding sexual desire and sexual desire discrepancy, discuss how to talk to couples about their sexual relationship, and how to introduce and use sensate focus with EFT. We will also do a couple of short exercises that can be used with couples in the sessions.
Laura Vowels is an ICEEFT certified emotionally-focused therapist in private practice specialising in couples struggling with sexual desire discrepancy and a PhD researcher at University of Southampton. She has published over ten scientific articles in leading international sex research journals on topics around sexuality and sexual desire in romantic relationships.
The blame game - Stepping in when our clients' cycle focuses on 'blame' or 'fix'.
Sarah McConnell & Isabel Bristowe, EFT Supervisors
Stepping in when our clients' cycle focuses on 'blame' or 'fix'. Stepping up by being bold in shaping attachment reframes and engaging in the emotions driving this cycle.
Sarah McConnell & Isabel Bristowe, EFT Supervisors
Stepping in when our clients' cycle focuses on 'blame' or 'fix'. Stepping up by being bold in shaping attachment reframes and engaging in the emotions driving this cycle.
- We will look at the differences between process and content and why it is so key to focus on process and not get drawn into content when working with a blaming partner.
- We will set out the skills to help focus on process and importantly why these skills are crucial to counteracting the blame game and how they underpin our stance.
- We will demonstrate a role play of “You say something about your partner – I say something about you.”
- We will use Role Plays to practice these skills
‘I do all the emotions in this relationship’: Boldness and engagement with withdrawers when the pursuer is apparently occupying the emotional high ground.
Jenny Hughes and Janine Murray
EFT practitioners will be familiar with this scenario in the therapy room, and it represents not just a challenge for the couple, but also for the therapist, in terms of how this statement impacts on ourselves in the work and how far we can make use of self in the work. Our workshop will explore what’s behind this typical statement and how we can be emboldened to help our couples to achieve a deeper understanding of what it means to make use of our emotions in intimate relationships. We will invite all participants to consider and share their own approach in the hope that a wider repertoire of suitable material for use in this situation the therapy room can be shared.
Jenny Hughes and Janine Murray
EFT practitioners will be familiar with this scenario in the therapy room, and it represents not just a challenge for the couple, but also for the therapist, in terms of how this statement impacts on ourselves in the work and how far we can make use of self in the work. Our workshop will explore what’s behind this typical statement and how we can be emboldened to help our couples to achieve a deeper understanding of what it means to make use of our emotions in intimate relationships. We will invite all participants to consider and share their own approach in the hope that a wider repertoire of suitable material for use in this situation the therapy room can be shared.
‘Got it!’ – short presentations & discussion.
Joy Wanless, Rosalind Peckham, Alison Bickers & Thelma Ellison
People will talk for 5-10 minutes about an element of EFT that they have really ‘got’ in the last year – however new or experienced an EFTer they are we can all learn something fresh from them.
Joy Wanless, Rosalind Peckham, Alison Bickers & Thelma Ellison
People will talk for 5-10 minutes about an element of EFT that they have really ‘got’ in the last year – however new or experienced an EFTer they are we can all learn something fresh from them.
